Streams in a Wasteland

One Decade

I remember when I was younger thinking that a decade seemed like an eternity. And from 12 to 22, it has felt like an eternity.

Today marks 10 years that my Dad went to be with the Lord. My original intent was to spend today by myself all day, reflecting. Alas, it was not meant to be, and I had one of the busiest days I've had in a while.

Reflecting for me more recently has become an act of the will. I've found myself just wanting to go to the next thing and not wanting to pause and think. But one of the things that I see over and over in Scripture, especially in the Old Testament, is a theme of remembrance.

God commanded Israel to remember what He had done. This remembrance was so important that one of the things He assigned were holidays in which they were to remember specific things that the Lord had done for them and they were to celebrate these events every year. Some were holidays of joy and some were holidays of sorrowful memories. But over and over the theme repeats itself: Remember. Remember.

So, I'm choosing to remember and reflect. I'm choosing to remember that in the 10 eons that have passed since my dad's death, God has been so faithful and good. In the short span of 10 years in which so much has happened, He has never left. There have been times when I've seen a tremendous amount of good come from Dad's passing, such as salvation of a loved one, or strengthening of my faith, instead of leaning on him. I've also seen a tremendous amount of sorrow as a result of the loss. Growing up as an adolescent girl without a father is difficult, whether we realize it or not. Watching a mother and siblings deal with the loss in their own way has at times seemed more than I could bear. And not having a physical and spiritual leader to guide our family has been overwhelming at times.

I don't remember much of my Dad. But I know enough about him to know that we would have been very close. My mom tells me all the time that I'm just like him. Then again, she says that about most of my siblings. ;) Sometimes the only thing I've wanted was to have him here so that I could ask him the billions of questions I've struggled with. If there's one thing I do remember, it's that he always seemed to have an answer. People always came to him if they had tough questions.

The interesting thing about this is even though I remember little about my Dad, the more I grow in God's word, the more I understand him. And I think that's a gift from God. To be blessed with a father who surpassed most men in his zeal for Christ, to know that he was such a man of character and integrity that even in his death his life is mirrored in the pages of scripture, is pretty incredible. And I thank God that even though he's not here, he left a legacy such that I could find Jesus through him. It reminds me of when Paul the Apostle told the Corinthians to follow him as he followed Christ. Not many people could say that. My dad could say that. And I'm just so grateful. 

I'm not sure how to end this post, so I will just end it how I usually do when I can't find the words: with a song.