Written about 2 weeks ago...

I dusted off some of my old piano books this week. It's amazing what you forget when you don't practice anymore.
It brought back so many memories... You know when you find something you love and you invest a lot of time in it, and then, for whatever reason, you stop doing those things, you forget about them, and then several years later you remember that you forgot them? So you become reacquainted.  There's such a comfort in that familiar reverie. I'm not sure how it is for other people, but it makes me wonder why I ever stopped. I guess time creeps by, you become busy, too busy for the things you really love, and then you forget that you loved them, forget how much you loved them. Forget that, in some odd and mystical way, that thing seems to have the ability to love you too. Something that used to define such a huge part of you becomes lost. And as a result, a large part of you gets lost. I realize I was lost. I still am a little. I always will be. I think my life will always be a series of discovering again where I've unintentionally made my way to a place I never meant to go and then finding my way back to the right path. I want to make my way back to the love of playing. Music, and the love of it, is really quite a unique and esoteric thing. It's deep, almost as if it's encrypted into your genetic code. The English language doesn't have a satisfactory word for the following thought, but when you let yourself bask in this passion, it doesn't matter how challenging it is, because the result is worth it. I'm not fond of cliches -it seems lately I've been using a lot of them- but music is so much like love. You shouldn't forget to practice it. You shouldn't forget to live it. You shouldn't forget to be inspired by it. You shouldn't forget to revel in it. You shouldn't forget that to separate yourself from it means to put to death a large part of your heart. Such a large part of who I am has metaphorically been in a coma, for lack of a better description, for 6 years. But, I smile as I type this, I'm starting to stir. I'm a bit weak, nowhere near as strong as I used to be, but I'm animately existent. And the world, though at times daunting, seems like a much better place...