Philippians 1:6

"Being confident of this very thing, that he which has begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ…"

"Since I'm confident of this very thing…He which hath begun…will perform." Philippians 1:6

I've wrestled with this verse for months. The question I always ask myself about it is, "What if you are a Christian, but you are not living for God, or you're doing something contrary to His will? Will He still "perform a good work in you until the day of Christ?" 

I think maybe I've been focusing on a question though, that can't ever be truly answered. At least, not in this life. I think a better way of looking at it is that it's not so much a question of will He do it but rather, how will I respond? God doesn't need me to do His will, as much as I like to think He does, as much as it gives me a false sense of importance that He does. He longs for me to love Him and do His will, but he doesn't need me to. And I think because I'm human I can't truly understand a longing that is void of need... 

Our behavior always has consequences and they can be good or bad. I think the answer to the question is this: God will carry out His will no matter what. However, if I want to be a part of what He's doing, if I want to be intimate with Him, if I want to please Him, if I want to be spiritually awake to the work He is doing, then I must seek Him. I can choose not to seek Him and because of that miss out on blessings, miss out on an amazing life of being intimate with Him, but He's still at  work in my life constantly. So the question is, how will I respond? Will I respond by giving my whole heart to Him and focus all of my time, energy, will, and emotion on seeking Him and His kingdom? Or will I be satisfied with just knowing that I'm saved? Many times I get so anxious that I'm doing things wrong and God won't continue to work in my life or that I'll do something to ruin what He has for me. But if I'm consistently pursuing Him, there's no way I'll miss out on what He's doing. Sure, there will be times I fall down, or will give into laziness, or selfishness. But my heart's deepest desire is to allow God to use me in whatever way He sees fit. Sometimes it takes me a while to get to a place of acceptance of what that usage is. But it truly is what I want the most. So the only thing to be concerned about is if I stop seeking Him. And, here's the best part, even then I can always run back to Him and start to seek Him again and He will always welcome me back. I think that's the reason I've struggled so long with this notion-because the idea of someone offering forgiveness and love and restoration each and every single time I or anyone else rejects Him or trades Him in for our own desires and idols….It's unheard of. It's insane! It doesn't make any sense… But it's such an astonishingly amazing thing. I can't even describe the peace and freedom it leaves me with. God is wondrous.